My entries from my Underground DSM are based on a specific setting which I have been in for decades: a patient coming in to meet with the entire treatment team (4-7 people) for a diagnostic or treatment planning meeting in an involuntary state hospital setting. I've done a few thousand of these (though some patients are repeats), so while the methodology isn't rigorous, the N is large. The diagnostic tricks may not generalise outside that setting. Except, I'll bet they do.
Psychiatrist: Can you tell me something about what brought you to the hospital?
Patient: I wrote it down last night and want to read it to you. It's three pages long.
Diagnosis: Borderline Personality Disorder. (Though Narcissistic might be a go.)