Monday, August 20, 2007

A Lesson For Husbands

On the way back from church, Tracy stated she was going to nap, otherwise she might cry.

"Why?" I asked.

"When are you going to get past this why thing?"

She has a point. Thirty-one years of marriage, and I still ask a typically male question of my wife.


terri said...

hehe..I did a post a couple of months ago about how being married for a long time doesn't actually prevent fights or misunderstandings from occurring, but merely cuts down on the time required to make up or get over it...down from 2 days to about 15 minutes.

Anonymous said...

I have fallen into this trap...many times. My MO is always to attempt to find out what's wrong. My wife and my grown daughter have patiently explained that sometimes they don't want "solutions" but just want to vent.

I am keeping my mouth shut a bit more now. Well, I like to believe I am.

Dubbahdee said...

No, she brought it up. If she didn't want to talk about it, why say she is going to cry. And then to act as if your thoughtful attempt at understanding is out of line? That's a double standard.

Women can't have it both ways in the communication dance.You can't lead and follow too, and you can't keep switching the steps. There is the myth in our culture that women are masters of emotional empathy and men are just clods. It's not that simple.

I understand that there is no point in actually arguing over this sort of thing, but still....

Here's my version of it.

One day she says "Don't try to solve problems. Just listen."

Another day she says, "Well? Don't just look at me. Say something."

On any given day, I have a 50/50 chance.

Anonymous said...

I wonder why she asked when you would get past that why thing.