I had a realisation while sitting in a parking lot with my trunk open, waiting for someone to put what I had requested into it. It followed the pattern of "I wish I had written...I said it, but should have said it more clearly...But other people were worse...and more annoying...and more unfair and stupid and lockedmoreintothemomentthantolargerperspectiveEVENTHOUGHTHEY... and but I knew...I knew...why was I not clear?..." and through further chains to the quiet thought "I was well-placed, by personality, training, and those around me to bring this lesson forward a year ago. And I did not for many reasons, none of them particularly admirable." I did better-than-average and thought that good, and did not do the job I was commissioned for. You Had One Job, as the internet humor often has it. It will take a bit to absorb this. But I had things I could have told you a year ago but did not because I thought other things more important. It wouldn't have saved the world, but it would have improved your lives, the only small circle that I have.
I'll patch things together the best I can.
Note: My intent is not to beat myself up in public, but to provide a record of how such things occur, so that others can follow the trail.
I'm not sure what you think you could have done better, but I definitely wouldn't beat myself up about it.
There's always tomorrow, hopefully.
What Mike said. It's trite but we're all big boys and girls. Your words, wisdom, and counsel are always most welcome but we're all ultimately responsible for ourselves. We do the best we can but still recognize many times when we didn't.
God may have commissioned you for something, but I didn’t. Mostly it’s Ymar who bends my ear about God wanting something from him directly, and maybe the road of a prophet isn’t for everyone. God be thanked for that.
Speaking less divinely, you don’t owe me for a gift you didn’t give me because I had no right to a gift in the first place. If you want to give it now, go ahead.
All will become clear soon. My phrasing did not capture that this is a rather everyday sin, not necessarily worth mentioning, but a good illustration of getting off the main track having consequences. Consequences, even small ones, are real.
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