The Evolution of Social Paradoxes

Human behavior is often paradoxical. We show humility to prove we’re better than other people, bravely defy social norms so that people will praise us, and donate to charity anonymously to get credit for not caring about getting credit. Here, I argue that these and other social paradoxes have a common thread: they are all attempts to signal a trait while concealing, from both the signaler and the recipient, the fact that a signal is being transmitted. 

David Pinsof in The Evolution of Social Paradoxes .  He sees them as a spin-off from the necessary Theory of Mind to perceive signals of trustworthiness.  We have to be able to know what others might think of our actions. But when we know what they probably think, we can mimic what will give them a particular impression about our actions.  We can game the system. But then we know that they also can game the system, and they know that we know that they know that we know.

Except in reality, we quickly disguise these motives from ourselves, and lots of people will likewise give us credit for being virtuous. Of course Congresswoman A isn't virtue-signalling.  She really cares about working people because she was one herself. It becomes a recursive mindreading game in which some people see one or more levels deeper than most, while others are one or more levels more superficial. The advantages either way are uncertain, because at each mindreading, there is only a percentage chance we are correct. The deeper we dig, the more speculative it all is.

I am reminded of Screwtape's advice to Wormwood about drawing his patient's attention to the fact he has become more humble in his battle against pride, as he will think "By Jove, I'm being humble!" and be proud of it. This can be repeated at the next revelation, but not endlessly, else the patient will see it is a hall of mirrors, laugh at himself, and head for bed - a very bad outcome for the demons.

Yet to a point, I think it is useful to remember that there is always a further layer of self-deception. This essay may well alert you to areas you have previously overlooked. 

"It is a spiritual gift from God for a man to perceive his sins" - Isaac the Syrian