Mythbusting by Megan McArdle

How do people even come up with these things?

Ollie Whitby (who?) on Substack: Our grandparents were on to something. Turns out slow mornings, early home-cooked dinners, getting lost in books, walking everywhere, real conversations, and minding your own peaceful business was a great way to live. 

Megan McArdle in response:  My grandfather got up at 5 am to drive down and open the gas station where he worked until 6 pm, unless he was short a worker and had to go back to man the evening shift.  There were about five adult books in their house, two bibles and three biographies. No one in his small town ever minded their own business. The home cooked dinners and the conversations, I grant you.  Otherwise you are describing college, not how our grandparents lived.

AVI: One grandfather was the egg man for two towns.  The rooster woke him at  4AM and 300 chickens needed to be fed and harvested, so that he could drive around in an unreliable car until noon, at which point he switched to the garden and repairs, six days a week. He chatted for a few moments with some customers.  He read two newspapers every evening, the Lowell Sun and one of the Boston papers.  I recall no books. Before that, he walked 26 miles each Friday to see his wife for the weekend and 26 back to Boston every Sunday for his chauffeur job.  I imagine her weeks were not filled with real conversations except for Aunt Betty half a mile away. She died at 49, I never knew her. The other grandfather didn't talk much, not even to his wife and children. Worked 60 hours/week as an accountant. His wife had friends and conversations - mostly after the children were grown. 

If you take that down to our parents' generation, it is only slightly less "relaxing." Later in life, after they had lived long and prospered, they had more quiet dinners, books, and real conversations. That would be what my children remember.

So too for us, as we are grandparents now. I used to get up before 6 to get to work for 6:45. I can draw real conversations out of just about anyone, but psychiatric patients are a challenge even for me. My wife worked with children and books, having real conversations only on the fly with co-workers. Hurried home-cooked dinners, drove everywhere all week to church, sports, lessons, relatives, talking with other moms and dads while watching kids. Lost in books, yes.