Wednesday, February 11, 2026

Mansplaining

 Competence-Questioning Communication and Gender 

 Results demonstrated that when faced with condescending explanation, voice nonrecognition, or interruption, women reacted more negatively and were more likely to see the behavior as indicative of gender bias when the communicator was a man.

This accords with my personal observations, but I do have a quibble. Women reacting more negatively to men's statements seems like a more important finding than that they find this evidence of gender bias, as all of us would be less likely to attribute disrespect to gender bias when it is our own gender. 

I have received competence-questioning communication from both men and women.  With the latter, I am likely to attribute it to the type of female communication  outlined by Deborah Tannen in You Just Don't Understand, that women offer what they think are involved, helpful suggestions that men interpret as being ordered around. After a few repetitions I might start to conclude that the woman has some sort of need to put men in their place, but even then, I am more likely to conclude that she wants to put everyone in their place. With men, I usually conclude that they are equal-opportunity jerks. 

And yet...and yet...I find that men will make assertions more often, but women will put an edge on these more when it is to men, and deny they are doing so. They define this in gender terms, that they are simply defending their right to be heard in the face of silencing, or standing up for themselves. Men are more likely to just be full of themselves. Women wound. Some are genuinely unaware that they are being condescending - others are clearly antagonistic but denying it.  My examples are from work, and therefore dated. I don't have a good sense how things are now.


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