The Church of Your Youth

Do we need to make peace with the church of our youth?

I was reflecting on the church of my youth over the weekend, a Congregationalist Church that became UCC while I was still there in highschool. For those unfamiliar with this, that means it was politically liberal enough in the 60s to move almost entirely in the direction of social gospel, an increasingly politicised theology. When I was considering going to seminary after college, the senior pastor at First Congo was appalled that I was considering Gordon-Conwell, which he considered "fundamentalist as hell." He wondered if Harvard or Yale Divinity might be better, not being up-to-date on the fact that his prize boy genius from high school years had not done any actual y'know, work at my elite college and had graduated near the bottom of my class. He thought Andover-Newton might also be nice, and after hearing my distressingly biblical emphasis, suggested Bangor Theological in Maine, where my buddy Frank Graichen had gone.* 

This affected "First Church" theology as well. In confirmation I was taught the German Higher Criticism idea made popular in the book and move The Robe, that Jesus did not actually make the five loaves and two fishes into more food (Quelle Horreur), but inspired all the assembled to SHARE by taking out the food they had brought with them and passing it around to others. As recently as two years ago I heard two Methodist pastors on a podcast ooh and ahh about what a beautiful story that was, clearly buying the hype that this was the "greater miracle." (Not that they haven't been consumed by cultural conceptions of the Bible and judging their political opponents or anything.) A lot of the women studied Unity. Yet if few were retained in the church by that upbringing, I doubt they are worse than a hundred other groups.

There was still a vestigial "Jesus as personal savior" statement that was required by all of us eighth graders for our Confirmation exam.  I later wondered how that could possibly be true, but my friend John Malyerck still had his speech memorised decades later, which is surprising in a man who claimed to have read only one book in his life, My Life at Bat by Ted Williams. Yet it illustrates Congregationalism nicely.  Both strands were still present in 1967, even if one was on its way out. And it never did die out.  You can get into a discussion and still hear personal salvation stories ring out, if you don't get too fussy about revivalist vocabulary.

Also, they did teach all that they should for information.  I knew the commandments, the parables, the biography of Jesus, the Exodus and the Genesis stories, any number of individual verses and even a moderate amount of church history. If I learned overmuch of social gospel, that was far better than learning none, as others I knew had. When I came up among the Jesus people in the 70s and resented my childhood church for not teaching me what I considered the last, most important step - but where did I learn to recognise this last, most important step in the first place? I made my peace with them years ago - I think. However much I bad-mouthed them at the time, they did better by me than I did by them.

I have heard many stories over the years of people who continue to resent the church of their youth. Fundamentalists and Catholics especially, and certainly Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons, but I've heard a lot of variations at this point: Baptist, Dutch Reformed, Brethren, Lutherans, Jews, Episcopalians, Independent Evangelicals, Evangelical Free. We went to Mass Saturday evening, knowing that our own church would be online only on Sunday, and my wife felt pained again that she could no longer receive the Eucharist because she has become Protestant. "I need to forgive the Bishop" (who did not grant her an exception when she applied for that a couple of years ago), she said. She feels quite good about her Catholic upbringing in general, but this stings.

It is not only those who are still Christian.  It may be even more common among those who have left the faith altogether to still make snippy remarks about the church of their youth. I don't have the numbers on that.  I imagine someone has studied it sometime. Some have decent reasons, I think, though I do wish they would think a bit harder. Yet most have terrible, shallow reasons, believers and unbelievers alike.  It doesn't do to mention that though, does it?

It occurred to me first that perhaps we should seek to return to the churches we grew up in, though I recognised quickly that there would be a lot of problems with setting that up as a standard. Still, I think there is something to be said for making our peace with it enough that we could at least honestly consider that. The entire doctrine of forgiveness is wrapped up in our understanding that we forgive because we ourselves have been forgiven much ourselves.  Glasses houses and all that.

*I wonder what happened to Frank?  Google-stalking reveals he continued parish ministry until retirement, ending in New York.  I think I should contact him.  I know, I know, Nostalgia Destruction Tour ended in December.  But, but, but...