Thursday, February 02, 2023

Saying The Quiet Part Out Loud

The same characteristic can look different if you gradually see it as a symptom instead or a personality trait.

I chose the Village Idiot name, but stumbled into the Assistant part.  It's funnier, and happily it also has a defensible point. I would have preferred to take the role of the boy who stated that the emperor had no clothes, stating the obvious that no one else dares to, but that is clumsy, so Village Idiot had to work instead.  The V.I. I imagined says the obvious, the quiet part out loud, which actually turns out to be quite wise. Some sort of reflection or opposite of the Wise Men of Chelm in Jewish tradition. Forced by a password mistake to take a new identity I chose AVI, which met with hearty approval for its humor.  But I also kept it because it reflects my character.  Our weaknesses are often our strengths in excess or misplaced, our virtues swollen out of proportion to become vices. If the Village Idiot points out the obvious, the Assistant still cannot quite get the hang of that and must continue the apprenticeship, because he tries to be wise and makes things too complicated.

I also had Orwell's admonition that it is difficult but important to keep the obvious firmly in mind and write accordingly. Comedians can stand or fall on how well they express what others won't say. The great thinkers of any age are often only noticing and organising what is in plain sight.

I have always fancied that I am at my best when I stick to pointing out the obvious, but this year I have come up against the uncomfortable possibility that there is a fair bit of rationalisation in this. While it is true that the unsaid sometimes does need to be said by someone, maybe sometimes not. A friend at work who also tends to make the subtext audible in many conversations was asked by her husband "Can anything just be left unsaid in this house?" A fair point.  Ouch.

Somebody needs to tell them we had this same discussion just last week.

Somebody needs to lighten the mood here.

Somebody should point out the possible risks here.

Somebody should (for example) remind this study that there are other scriptures which give a different take on the matter...and all the similar discussion points on a hundred other topics, especially the controversial ones. 

Somebody needs to encourage him in this thankless task. 

And the natural outgrowth of this are the next steps

Well if I don't tell them, who will?

Has she got anyone else in this job who will point this out to her? 

Am I the only one who dares/cares enough to actually say this?

No one seems to be picking up the ball and researching this.

And yet...

What if my dial settings are just a bit off because I'm an Aspie? That's only subtly different from "having a blunt personality type" because one is Dutch or raised in a military family or naturally impatient or whatever. Some of it could be hereditary, some of it could be environment, all of it is under some personal control. But from the inside, it feels very different if this is a symptom rather than a decision, because the decision will be based on how this seems to me, and the seeming itself may be wrong. Not horribly wrong necessarily. Not hair-trigger, just a diminished filter.

It reminds me of the Eddie Izzard bit about suffering fools gladly. And heck, someone has to post it. 

I mean, like “He doesn’t suffer fools gladly.” We go  Who does suffer fools gladly?! How often you can go,

“Hello! I’ve got a pig in me trousers!”

“Come in! Come in, you fool!

1 comment:

james said...

"Why is nobody talking about this? Is there something I don't know?"