A woman at PJ Media is advising her son (age 14) not to marry a feminist. I found the piece irritating. The word feminist has such a broad meaning at this point that in some American cultures to embrace it is to brand yourself an extremist, while in others to refuse to embrace it is to brand yourself an extremist. Most of us aren't extremists - even those who lean pretty strongly on an issue can usually identify a person who they consider farther out than they are and beyond the pale.
In brief response to the article, I have known very devoted wives who were ardent feminists, and very traditional women who were quite self-centered in their marriages. Maybe there is some opposite trend that flows from women's social politics, but I would like to see the numbers (and the survey design) on that. Anyone, anyone, can find bad examples and complete pathological jerks among the people they disagree with. This proves nothing, and failing to note that this is what you are doing is damaging to the national conversation.
If you can show that a particular fault is common among your opponents, more common than among your allies, then mentioning it is fair game. Beyond that, all should be caution.