My Uncle Again

Uncle Dave sent along a recent rant purportedly by Jesse Ventura. I thought he was sending it as an example of how insane the right-wing and Tea Party are, and I thought it sounded bogus. Searching the web I can see it attributed to Jesse, but it has the ring of someone else's rant, with Ventura's name tacked onto it.

Doesn't matter, really. When I dismissed it as insane...well I'll quote the email directly:

AVI: Did he really write this? I can't find that it's an urban legend, but it smells odd.

UncaDave: Yeah It does smell odd But so what
More often than not. you focus on the author
But not on what he says What difference does it make who writes? Even the marginals like Ventura (or his ghost writer ) may say something worthwhile
In which particular do you disagree with him?

AVI: Good heavens! All of it. It's insane. He talks about vague poisoners and robbers, calls them elites, and everyone can fill in the blanks with their own enemies. He's some guy they put away in a home, muttering about the commies, or the corporatists, or the jews. (For confirmation, look at the comments at the link.)

UncaDave: A continuance of attacking the author and ducking what he says

So I took the bait, and fisked the entire Ventura essay. Hope you have fun.

You who, even approximately, is this "you" he is speaking about? control our world. No, no one does. Power is diffuse.
You’ve poisoned the air we breathe, and yet Jesse lives and prospers, Funny.
contaminated the water we drink, is he talking about 1973 or something? What water? Where? Draining aquifers is the problem he should worry about
and copyrighted the food we eat. As opposed to breeds of cattle or tomatoes for the last two centuries? General Mills? Nestle? Or does he mean genetically-modified foods? What's his objection to them, other than some gut sense that they shouldn't be...well, I can't tell exactly. What the hell is he thinking is wrong? Is it 1999 again?
We fight in your wars Who? I'm still not getting it. Afghanistan and Iraq were popular wars at first - you could make a good case that the politicians fought them because the people demanded it, then they got unpopular after three years, as wars always do. If you mean Libya, I might agree.
die for your causes what causes does he mean? Whether one thinks the wars were about punishing bad guys, bringing long-term peace to the ME, or just grabbing some oil, those are pretty popular causes with Americans. I'd question the methods long before the causes. Those are pretty good causes. As wars go, those are way better than average reasons.
and sacrifice our freedoms to protect you. What freedoms were sacrificed? Airport searches, I'll grant. But the worrisome surveillance issues stem aren't particularly war-related. Yet who got protected?
You’ve liquidated our savings, OK, he must mean the government here, then, not businesses or the wealthy. Whatever else you might say about Walmart or GE or Microsoft, they haven't liquidated savings. And I'd say "eroded," not liquidated, anyway.

Hey, if this is the government that he has been talking about, then maybe Jesse and I have some common ground!

destroyed our middle class when did this happen? I must've missed it on the news, is it 1933 again?
and used our tax dollars to bailout your unending greed No we bailed out unending stupidity and I'm not sure who benefited, except unions and a lot of folks in government.
We are slaves to your corporations I pick Disney, then. I'll be their slave. Or Apple.
zombies to your airwaves okay, that one is starting to sound like my paranoid schizophrenic patients,
servants to your decadence. I'm trying to think what particular decadence I am enabling this year. Unless it's 1913 he's talking about. Is he channeling William Jennings Bryan?
You’ve stolen our elections - okay, that's the Democrats, but even I don't think they've stolen a lot of them. Maybe a handful,
assassinated our leaders - The 1960's? Is that the answer to the puzzle?,
and abolished our basic rights as human beings. And yet no one has locked Jesse up, despite his being insane. And I ate the dinner I liked, and sit typing at a computer.
You own our property So it's banks that are the problem, maybe,
shipped away our jobs, and shredded our unions See auto bailouts, above. And union member are about the only group with pensions now.
You’ve profited off of disaster Someone made money on....Katrina? Gulf Oil Spill? Or Japan? Or the tornadoes? I think those were pretty much all loss. Hiram does make some overtime whenever we have a blizzard, but we don't begrudge him that, he works hard for it
destabilized our currencies more than one? Maybe it is Bryan and the Free Silver party he's channeling,
and raised our cost of living. Only if he means government.
You’ve monopolized our freedom I have no idea what that means,
stripped away our education, Naw, the kids pretty much do that on their own

Everyone get ready to block those clustered metaphors...
and have almost extinguished our flame . We are hit… we are bleeding… but we ain’t got time to bleed. We will bring the giants to their knees and you will witness our revolution!