A.A. Milne

This rant is about 3 decades too late, I think.

I grew up on Milne, even more than my own sons did. As some fundamentalists view the KJV as textus receptus, so do I regard the original Pooh texts. I never watched any of the Disney Pooh movies because I knew they would just irritate me.

At a church-sponsored outdoor movie night at someone's home we saw The Rookie. Which was fine. I see so few movies that I tend to like them all.

But prior to the main feature there was a Pooh movie by Disney. Something about a baby Heffalump named "Lumpy," with a Roo that laughed after every damn line he said. No, that can't be true, because there were too many moments of forced poignancy with sad tones of voice from baby animals missing their mothers. The songs were by Carly Simon - or Carly Simon on Quaaludes, perhaps. Not only was there no edge to any of the lyrics - which I guess should be expected from Disney - there was no form to put an edge onto. Universal smudge. Umpty-umpty name roo something. Something heffalump friend friend umpty. Revolting.

This should not be. Censorship is good. I have the evidence.