Monday, July 20, 2026

How to Talk to Someone Who Is Still Inside The Spell.

 Mary Jane Murphy, on Substack, writing about talking to trans activists and friends still "inside the spell." It is good advice for any difficult discussion, but she makes it specific.

1. Refuse the vocabulary without attacking the person

Language is where the spell lives. Every loaded term you adopt is a conclusion you have silently conceded. “Assigned at birth” presupposes that sex is assigned rather than observed. “Cis” presupposes that everyone has a gender identity. “Trans women” presupposes the category exists as described.

You do not need to fight about every word. You need one calm, repeatable move. Mine is this: “That’s contested vocabulary, it embeds a conclusion I haven’t agreed to.” 

2. Ask questions you do not answer...

3. Pace before you lead... 

 4. Plant seeds and walk away...

5. Wait for the wobble... 

4 comments:

Tom said...

It is hard work to change the mind of one who has accepted a belief. Not impossible, but difficult. A bit like deprogramming a cult member, where asking questions about internal contradictions can be an effective technique, but only over time. Generally thankless work.

Assistant Village Idiot said...

It takes a discipline I don't seem to have

Tom said...

Few do, and God bless those few. I too lack the temperament for that career.

Jasmine Spyer said...

I am making a good salary from home $4580-$5240/week , which is amazing und­er a year ago I was jobless in a horrible economy. I thank God every day I was blessed with these instructions and now its my duty to pay it forward and share it with Everyone,
.

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