Related to the previous post, though possibly in contradiction of it, I have thought of the fertility crisis and our responses to it. Because it can be tied pretty solidly to the marriage crisis, I don't see how we get around putting responsibility on both young males and young females, as well as on the economic and social environment we parents and grandparents have put them in. Yet my prejudice is toward lecturing the young men. Dude, it's your job to persuade her. Present a package that someone will put on their wish list. If you aren't pretty, you should work on being funny. Only then you can start on laying down your Good Provider/Kind/Smart/Generous cards. Those only matter if you've you've already made it to the display case. The days when she had to choose someone are over. It's not fair that she doesn't care about those things first, but you aren't hurrying to buy the brussel sprouts first either, amiright?
4 comments:
"Yet my prejudice is toward lecturing the young men."
Almost everyone's is, if they are really trying to be persuasive through the argument rather than merely enjoying lecturing dramatically for effect on social media. This may not contradict your earlier point; it may be a widely-understood heuristic about where you're more likely to make headway with such an argument.
This does leave the young men to battle their way through the "men are scum" preconceptions of young women that young men at least think are there.
If humans were better at nuance, it would be a very different world.
The days when she had to choose someone are over.
You remember a week or so ago, right? It's not just indifference, it's actually being told NOT to chose.
My prejudice is toward lecturing (or "preparing") young women to be able to see through the very persuasive and appealing young men they encounter and wait until the lectures from grown-up men finally sink in. I'm also not naive enough to believe that females are any less persuasive and appealing, thus the lectures are needed for both. Its possible females don't get enough lectures.
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