Mini Mental Status Exam

I took a bump to the scalp while loading trays on the back of a bread truck. It was bad enough at the time that I wondered if I should worry about shock or even concussion.  Things seem to be fine now.

Yet I wondered if I was thinking as clearly as I should be, because I am driving a large unreliable vehicle and was immediately caught up short by "How would I know?"  I've watched a couple of thousand mental status exams done over the course of my career, and even did a few myself.  So I know the questions and what a clinician would be looking for, but what if I couldn't recall the very things I needed most to know?  So I started running a comprehensive on myself.  Take a look at what that is, then come back.  No need for detail, skimming is enough.  Though you might find it fascinating in its own right. 

So how's my gait and movement?  Well, I'm driving a truck, so that's hard to say.  I think I got into the truck okay. 

Appearance?  I'm screwed. Dirty ripped clothes because - warehouse. Gash on my scalp, blood on sleeve - would they hold that against me?  Heck, I know there's a good reason for these but would I be behind the eight-ball already with a doctor? (It depends.) Evasive, suspicious, hostile?  Don't think so. So dropping down here...wait, does that mean I'm distractable? Well, I'm always distractable. I doubt my speech is pressured, my fluency is good, but just because I can understand what I'm saying...

And so on for another five minutes until I determined I couldn't really tell from the inside, but I appeared to be sticking with it, which was probably a good sign.  I'm sure there's no research literature on self-administering a mental status exam.  For good reason.

So I thought maybe the Mini Mental Status Exam would be better.  30 points, simple scoring, very concrete, even though nothing is foolproof.  If you are older, or have taken some knocks to the head, you may have had a doctor run these on you.  Take a look at it and you will start to see the cleverness of a quick test like this.  There are a variety of tasks, and most of them look like you should be able to get them.  If you miss a few, especially the pentagons, that won't be a full red flag, just a point to be aware of in the future. 

So the first five points, 2025, Spring, I think it's the 6th (some will give you credit if you are only off by a day), definitely Friday, June.  Now where am I? NH, Hillsborough - wait, I haven't crossed into Rockingham, have I?  Is Auburn in Rockingham County?  I don't think so. No wait, I think it is. Damn it. Well I'm in Manchester again anyway now, so Hillsborough. I'm betting this problem of movement isn't covered in the scoring. I'm in a truck, but how do I get my fifth point on this one? I gave myself a 3-step direction.  I doubt that has the slightest validity.  I tried to draw those pentagons in the air and see if I got them intersecting.

I decided I was fine.  A very entertaining way to kill fifteen minutes.

Wait, how long was that?  Was it too long?  Did I drift away a few times?