Thursday, February 15, 2007

Stehpinkeln

It is now considered unfashionable and low in Germany for men to urinate standing up. Alarm systems are selling like hotcakes - or something - which notify merchants, or wives, when a male is offending by leaving the seat up. I haven't checked on this, so I don't know whether it's some electric eye thing or what.

When I mentioned this at work, there were of course several women who immediately - and energetically - announced what a great idea this is. Huh. The joy in a four-year-old boy's countenance when he gets to urinate outside in the woods with his Dad, proving that they are both men, is not something to be thrown away lightly. There's an NRA slogan about my "cold, dead hands" and guns. I'm not sure what the analogy is exactly, but that applies here, dammit. I'm going to go pee in the yard now. Just because I can. Stehpinkeln - "stand-peeing" is part of my cultural heritage. I hope German men stand tall on this.

6 comments:

terri said...

Shortly after my oldest son was potty-trained, we went to a fourth of july fireworks display. The park was already full, so we parked our car across the street in a huge, warehouse's parking lot. There were no facilites.

At one point, he had to use the bathroom. My husband took him to a clump of trees, away from everything, and let him go - standing up of course. He still remembers that to this day and brings it up every 4th of July

He was immensely pleased with himself and asks why he can't do it in the backyard.

who, me? said...

Dept of Unintended Consequences: If leaving the seat up leads to embarrassment or penalties, then it will not be raised in the first place -- with consequences related to smaller target areas and increased evidence of dampness....

Eeeeeuw.

Jerub-Baal said...

The femination of European males continues apace.

Anonymous said...

The femination of European males continues apace.

Isn't Sitzpinkler German slang for "sissy"?

One or two more generations, and they'll be eunuch enough to guard the harems of Eurabia. Or feminine enough to put on the burqa and stock them.

Assistant Village Idiot said...

I hope you're wrong, but...

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