When the boys were younger and were acting up I would sometimes deadpan "LOCAL FATHER GOES BERSERK. SLAYS TWO IN BIZARRE DINNER INCIDENT. Broccoli dispute rumored." It seemed funny at the time. I did not use that with the two Romanian sons or with Kyle who arrived last. My oldest son had daughters, who are gentler creatures and might not have found it funny.
Maybe no one would find it funny now.
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