I have been looking for a shortcut definition of empathy for use in popular discussion. I have settled on Empathy = identifying with someone. In the first place, it gets people off the idea that it equals compassion, or sympathy, or kindness, or just being a decent chap. Secondly, it includes the idea that is an impression or feeling, not a kind action. Identifying is often partial, and we don't always pick the good bits of who we are identifying with. And it also highlights that it might not always be a positive.
Do I repeat myself? Very well, I repeat myself. I don't always remember that half of
disagreements boils down to agreeing about the definition of terms. This is where my
contention that I may not know as much as recognized experts about a subject and not
be fit to comment on who is wrong and who's right, but I can be pretty good at who is
fighting fair and who isn't . Redefining terms is something that cults do.
I'm not sure I really distinguish among empathy, sympathy, compassion, and kindness. Throughout my life I've been an unusually aloof person, defined as something like the opposite of all those terms. In recent years, something happened to make the suffering of others break through, and to persuade me that a life without service and generosity is agonizingly without purpose. Is that empathy? Who knows. It's something like "no man is an island." I'm still unusually solitary, however, and sometimes find it necessary to help from a distance. Presumably a fairly ordinary attachment disorder.
ReplyDeleteAt a person to person level I agree the distinctions are minimal though I think AVI has pointed out they aren't immaterial if you're talking about dealing with someone with severe problems.
ReplyDeleteWhen talking about larger groups the distinctions become more important because much of our politics is trying to get people in one group to demand people in another group do something for a third unrelated group.
A little off topic, but I think I witnessed what the 'original' empathy meant a few weeks ago. It would take a long explanation of why I was sitting with my 2 older granddaughters in my garage where there were tables/chairs/paper and a set of old fine-tipped markers that weren't completely dried out. The younger of them was doodling while we discussed their classes and other topics. What she came up with was a forest. Interesting trunks and leaf colors in the foreground and as the colors ran out, greyish monotones in the background adding depth.
ReplyDeleteIt reminded me of aspens in Colorado. It reminded her father of the photos of a forest in Poland he'd recently photographed. It reminded her mother of the piney woods of East Texas.
In other words, the viewers gained more than the artist ever intended... she was about to throw it away as just doodles... messing around... keeping her hands occupied, etc.
Back toward the question - empathy is inwards, it's us relating our experiences outward onto someone else. It might could, but doesn't necessarily take into consideration the feelings, thoughts, or experiences of another.