Spiritual Growth

We may not use prayer for spiritual growth in quite the right way. It is an evangelical automatic, and I think common in other traditions as well to regard a quiet time, a meditative period of scripture, prayer, and reflection as the foundation for becoming more like Christ. Let me jump right in and say that the difficult situations and people we have to deal with are a better school for that particular goal.  I don't say that those disciplines are not useful, but that I believe they would point us to circumstances we are encountering in the moment more than to the large abstract ideas of holiness or generosity of spirit.

It is rather like the old joke about the woman who refuses to be rescued from the roof of her house during the flood claiming that God will save her.  When she gets to heaven and is a bit put out at being let down so, God smiles and says "I sent you a life preserver, a boat, and a helicopter, but you didn't use them."  When we approach God in prayer and ask to be more loving, forgiving, or patient He might well say "I have already given you that idiot of a husband for that task."

I don't doubt you already understand I don't mean any sharp dichotomy between prayer and work here.  Of course it is a good thing to pray directly for a loving attitude, and to mention it specifically by name.  I just don't think those magic wand moments of Here, have some more lovingkindness happen as often as we pretend. We sometimes research the scriptures to be told how to act, but for most of us that time is long past and the scriptures are there to remind us how to act. The Bible has its use when we see our own struggles in the lives of those ancient examples who handled them better, or worse than we currently are - or, when we contemplate one of the infuriating comments of the disciples and realise we would have said something fairly similar ourselves. But as for learning to be generous, I think the contemplation of our neighbor is more likely to produce a change than praying for generosity.  Generosity in the abstract is for those lovely people and causes who deserve it.  Generosity in reality is for those who have angered or disappointed us.

...we can be full of joy here and now even in our trials and troubles. Taken in the right spirit these very things will give us patient endurance; this in turn will develop a mature character, and a character of this sort produces a steady hope, a hope that will never disappoint us. (Romans 5:4 J B Phillips)