On the very cold Saturday morning we were passing out food, the wind was up and the workers were miserable. People just hunkered down, vowing to just get through it, get home and warm up. There was one woman, Lisa, who I know from 1269 Cafe and from being on the other side of the line at Food For Children. She is chronically homeless. She is an untreated manic; not at all a mean person, but she wears on me very quickly. I hear her voice at a distance and try to anticipate where she will be next, so I can not be there. She is happy in that forced, brittle way that is not insincere but one recognises is a result of her biology forcing her to it.
But his morning, everyone was unhappy, silent, clipped in speech, a few women tearing up from time to time it was so painful. Lisa was singing, softly and joyfully, singing praise songs one after another without repeat.
And...
It was just so nice to hear a pleasant voice. It lifted the spirit, and you didn't give a damn if was artificial or forced or not. It was a human voice being happy, ringing through the misery. I realised that sometimes the tribe needs this to survive. Lisa may be a burden and a cost 99% of the time, but that 1% is enough to inspire, to keep the whole tribe going that one extra hour. Over the course of a generation, a few of those may mean the difference between life and death, productivity or despair, for many people.
I felt ashamed at having thought ill of her, and still burn to think of it.
Historically, you have reason to have done so. This day was good for you both.
ReplyDeleteThat says something about why the trait survives, in spite of being maladaptive in many circumstances.
ReplyDeleteIt also ought to be a warning to psychologists to be careful about 'curing' it, should they find it in their power.
But your approach is better. You show what is valuable in Christianity, from the perspective of lived experience. Metaphysically, salvation is better; eternal life, perhaps, is better. But in terms of what we can see in this world, this ability you show to reflect and to see in this way is the height.
In all things, moderation, and in all situations, forbearance.
ReplyDelete"But your approach is better. You show what is valuable in Christianity, from the perspective of lived experience. Metaphysically, salvation is better; eternal life, perhaps, is better. But in terms of what we can see in this world, this ability you show to reflect and to see in this way is the height."
ReplyDeleteYes, I wish that could be universally applied. But AVI certainly represents that. Amen again.
A wonderful mea culpa and makes us think of who in our lives are we seeing the same way. Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDelete