I have noticed how quickly some people go to the idea of how spiritually instructive doing some types of volunteering is. Also, how many charitable endeavors can change their focus to the conversion or spiritual improvement of those served. Somewhere in my mind, I remember that these are probably more the point than the earthly benefit. All this world does go away, and only that which is spirit remains. What we accomplish may be less important than how we treat each other while doing it.
Yet I find I am just not wired that way. I have started at a food charity, and a few weeks in, I focus on the aspects that are just a job. Estimates of how many items from column A can be given to each ticket must be made and adjusted as we go; cheaters must be discouraged because it robs the honest and many volunteers are not equipped for enforcement tones of voice; work must be divided, priorities must be set, reminders to be polite and kind must be given, and so forth. I don't know that I am deriving any spiritual benefit, nor that those receiving are either. People arrive claiming they need food and we give it to them.
This reveals to me what my real values are, rather than my claimned theoretical and theological values. I guess I don't really in my heart of hearts believe that it's all about spiritual development, though all of Christian history says it is. It's just a job, and a few of us - I can see who the others are already - have our focus on getting the job done efficiently and well. Perhaps it is just that I am easily distracted by the concrete act over the harder spiritual work. That could be so. Easier to count and bag small yogurts than listen for what God might be saying.
I worry about such things, but this also reveals to me that I don't have an enormous ability to reverse field on this. The work must be done, so some of us go immediately to that. We are Marthas by nature, not Marys. Human Doings instead of Human Beings.
Interestingly, when Lazarus dies, Martha is the one who shows greater faith in believing that Jesus can bring him back from the dead. She is the one that runs out to him. I had not noticed until the camp speaker taught on the death of Lazarus this summer, but it transforms how I look at the two women. It’s similar to how we always bang on Thomas for not believing immediately, but Jesus doesn’t.
ReplyDeleteOne exhortation that jumps out at me from Scripture is the command to persevere. That seems to suggest that we can expect distractions, but also expect dry spells. Like being in Egypt as slaves. Or having no prophets for centuries. Or waiting for the Messiah to grow up. Or come back.
ReplyDeleteMany things would be a lot easier if we could somehow cultivate an attitude of love when doing them. That, as you note, is a lot harder than it sounds--I can't manage to squeeze out kind feelings all the time. Or even a significant minority of the time. But perhaps it is at least -something- to do the work and hope for the love to come. I'm pretty sure waiting until we feel like we're ready usually gets neither loving nor works done. OTOH, Moses thought he was ready...