I recall a girl I knew briefly in summers 4th-6th grade meeting me as an adult almost 40 years old and saying "You are just like you were then." I didn't like the comment at all. I had been a committed Christian for 16 years, had been educated in a different part of the country, married, had children, read many things, and thought I was a very different person now. Plus, everything I had been taught to date suggested that environment, decision, developed character and the like were the big issues. Genetics had its place, but it was minor.
It turns out that Susie Creamer of Chelmsford, MA may have been more right than the experts. It's not just height, and IQ, and musical or athletic abilities. Sumus quod sumus.
Still eating your textbooks, are you?
ReplyDeleteShe knew me summers when I visited my grandparents' chicken farm. I didn't read outside, so she ouldn't have known about that.
ReplyDeleteI actually did chew things for many years. Now I just eat.
As devil's advocate, is this evidence for a gene or for personality development happening very very early, maybe even in utero?
ReplyDeleteAs far as I know, personality traits haven't been as much measured - they are harder to define, after all. I believe it's all earlier and less under our control than is popularly believed, sometimes going back to prenatal or genetic influences. We write our own previous stories with a focus on our decisions and what happened to us. How could we do otherwise? Yet we also see traits running in families and showing up very early in children.
ReplyDeleteMy main point here is that a lot is in place by age 10 at least, changing little thereafter.
I have a few more strategies now, but my attitude on entering a party full of strangers is the same as it was when I was 5.
ReplyDeleteWell, I circle the herd and turn in the strays.
ReplyDeleteYou may have retained a lot of personality traits or points of style, without that detracting at all from the many ways you've developed your character and wisdom.
ReplyDeleteTho I tend to agree that personality/temperament are evident early on and change little, people's behavior and functioning CAN change over time. I'm thinking of the enormous security many of us derive from being in uniform (literally or figuratively). A pathologically shy person can behave in a cordial and considerate manner when "in role." Soldiers can be braver than the individuals were before boot camp, because they have been drilled on how to handle situations that cause most civilians to run or hide or lose it generally.
ReplyDeleteIdeas about practice, practice, practice are as relevant to the social persona we present to the world as to technical or artistic or professional skills. Thus, one young adult I know was dubious, pained by the world in the delivery room and somewhat so to this day. But professionally kind, dedicated, extending self to reach kids others find unreachable or too difficult to deal with. Or me? Solitary, cranky bookworm/tomboy kid. Born to be hanged as my charming paternal grandmother used to say (because of my rabid defense of the under dog and lack of feminine charm or prettiness). Yet, in role, in my former profession, able to be kind, diplomatic, caring, ignoring political or other differences. For me (as for others branded young as obnoxious and too opinionated) being "in role" is a blessing.
Having certain things expected of one, and certain behaviors required, gives one courage in the face of otherwise scary situations. I believe there is a lot to be said for setting "impossibly high" expectations up for oneself and others. Sig itur ad astra. One will fall short, but do more good if a lot is being expected of one. This is why one should never label a child a coward or a relative a racist/sexist/yahoo or whatever. People are surprisingly able and often willing to rise above their innate temperament. The thing is, Jesus knew this and called us to abandon our foolish ways and follow Him, love this broken world and all the a-holes we grouse about. He knows we can change. We should cherish the fact that we can. Thanks to Him.