Starting a CONVERSATION

When it’s your kid accused of bullying, and you know he’s completely innocent, you will brook no nonsense about it being an excellent opportunity to discuss bullying in general and raise awareness.  You know that any such conversation will only serve to confirm the impression that your son is guilty of something, even if not the act in question.  Those individuals attempting to acquire the microphone and establish conversational space (where they are important) can insist that they only wish to use the issue as a starting point, regardless of the facts of this particular case or the guilt or innocence of your son - they lie.  They might be nice people who don’t mean to lie but just like “conversations” about important matters, and don’t think things through very well, but they don’t mean it.  

Because if it was their kid, they’d see immediately.

I don’t mean to get you stuck on the bullying example.  It could be your good boss falsely accused, or your daughter who is a coach or mentor accused of sexual pressure on one of her girls, or a spouse under the gun for innocent comments twisted.  People only allow those conversations against a background of presumed guilt.  This has really brought forth an awareness of whether women have a voice in the churches…this just highlights the American fascination with guns and is an opportunity for a teaching moment…this raises important questions about the militarisation of our police…or government intrusion…or…No.  No it doesn’t.  It might be an opportunity for the opposite, for a discussion of kids being falsely accused of bullying, or bosses of harassment, or whatever.  If we reverse the PC nature it becomes clear.  If a black man is falsely accused of some crime and white people are clamoring for his head, it is offensive to use that as an opportunity to go on the talk shows and talk about the legitimate fears the white community feels.  He’s innocent!  Deal with that first!  Then we can come back and talk about the merits of your idea later.

These issues may indeed be legitimate, but not every event that touches on them is a fair starting point.  When the facts of simple justice actually tend in the opposite direction where you want to go, it's pretty offensive for you to try and pop in.  (I have the image of the new queen bee sawing off the head of the old queen in my mind here.)

So how is it that these nice people keep telling these lies? 

Some of them aren’t nice, just charming and well-spoken.

Some of them get so wrapped up in the cause that what happens to individuals counts for less and less.

Some of them just haven’t thought it through by putting themselves in the shoes of the accused.

Some of them cannot endure Justice, but can only see it through a special prism of social justice, economic justice, sexual justice, historical justice, whatever.  These modifiers are of course all moves away from actual justice.

Some make their living or acquire status by having these important conversations, so they will have a very low threshold for saying “Hey, we should have a round-table discussion about this!”

Christians may be more prone to this than others, and Christian clergy especially prone.