A young man who can't negotiate the shoals of a wedding party probably isn't up to the demands of marriage yet, either! Too sentimental? Too regimented? Too focused on the chick stuff? Too responsive to community standards of taste and ritual? These are all warnings that should be carefully heeded.
Fair enough, but then our host should be worrying that the marriage ceremony was designed to repel both future brides AND future grooms. Yet somehow the ceremonies continue!
Sons #2 and #3 - the first eminently qualified for marriage and the second well above average, just encountered Bridezilla moments for a good friend. She seems to be quite nice and reasonable in many ways. She is an above-average choice of bride. But she had them working until 2AM, all because she had not done any planning and regarded both bridesmaids and groomsmen as free labor to be ordered about. (Sample not-planning info: she emailed me - the officiant - the ceremony a few hours before the rehearsal. At the rehearsal she said "we have already picked out some of the music for tomorrow.")
She got her way or became irate. Young men watching realise that crises will come and go throughout marriage, and someone who expects 100% victory when the chips are down is a bit worrisome. Those old bits in the services (and the scriptures) are there only to give men half-a-chance. Was the opposite true years ago, when violence was ignored? Certainly. That was then. This is now. Among decent people, young men look at this and ask "why would I want anything to do with this?"
They change their minds for love, of course. Always have. Or for desire to create a legacy of children. But this can't be helping.
Ah--being in a wedding party with a dreadful bride should certainly give young men reasons not to get involved with a dreadful bride. I hope the groom was paying attention!
Yes, there's Bridezilla, and Bride'sMomzilla. I was a Best Man once--all seemed good. My 2 weddings were done without mom or m-i-l involvement. My brother told me our sister was an m-i-lzilla at our nephew's wedding. Should instill great caution in young men, seeing that played out.
A young man who can't negotiate the shoals of a wedding party probably isn't up to the demands of marriage yet, either! Too sentimental? Too regimented? Too focused on the chick stuff? Too responsive to community standards of taste and ritual? These are all warnings that should be carefully heeded.
ReplyDelete@Texan99,
ReplyDeleteI suspect by that measure, very few men indeed are up to the demands of marriage. In fact, one could make the same case for either sex.
And yet...we keep doing it anyways. ;-)
Fair enough, but then our host should be worrying that the marriage ceremony was designed to repel both future brides AND future grooms. Yet somehow the ceremonies continue!
ReplyDeleteSons #2 and #3 - the first eminently qualified for marriage and the second well above average, just encountered Bridezilla moments for a good friend. She seems to be quite nice and reasonable in many ways. She is an above-average choice of bride. But she had them working until 2AM, all because she had not done any planning and regarded both bridesmaids and groomsmen as free labor to be ordered about. (Sample not-planning info: she emailed me - the officiant - the ceremony a few hours before the rehearsal. At the rehearsal she said "we have already picked out some of the music for tomorrow.")
ReplyDeleteShe got her way or became irate. Young men watching realise that crises will come and go throughout marriage, and someone who expects 100% victory when the chips are down is a bit worrisome. Those old bits in the services (and the scriptures) are there only to give men half-a-chance. Was the opposite true years ago, when violence was ignored? Certainly. That was then. This is now. Among decent people, young men look at this and ask "why would I want anything to do with this?"
They change their minds for love, of course. Always have. Or for desire to create a legacy of children. But this can't be helping.
Ah--being in a wedding party with a dreadful bride should certainly give young men reasons not to get involved with a dreadful bride. I hope the groom was paying attention!
ReplyDeleteIn all things, even love, we like to credit our foresite and planning when blind-pig-finds-an-acorn luck is a more likely explaination.
ReplyDeleteAnd in this situation it's unfortunately too late for the groom.
Yes, there's Bridezilla, and Bride'sMomzilla. I was a Best Man once--all seemed good. My 2 weddings were done without mom or m-i-l involvement. My brother told me our sister was an m-i-lzilla at our nephew's wedding. Should instill great caution in young men, seeing that played out.
ReplyDelete