It is easier to forgive people once they have stopped sinning against us, we learned wryly at a Bible study twenty years ago. Even more, it is easier to forgive them once they're dead.
Scripture doesn't let us off with that postponement, of course, and we must manage our forgiving and reforgiving as best we can with moving targets. But for those who struggle, despairing whether they will ever release those last grudges, you will. My parents both asked late in life for my forgiveness for anything left over, and I thought I had (and was grateful they had made that effort). But I forgive them much more now.
The most difficult acts of forgiveness are toward those who don't even believe that they did you wrong/harm. That's a tough one.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness can be studied from game theory - the prisioner's dilema.
ReplyDeleteForgive once, trust once, if betrayed, punish. That is the way the world works best.
It helped me when I realized that forgiveness is not an event, it is an ongoing process. Taking that view gave me space to allow myself to grow into it, and at the same time seemed to help me arrive more quickly.
ReplyDelete