If someone says "I'm sorry IF..." that could mean they don't think they did anything wrong, it's just you being oversensitive.
If someone says "I'm sorry BUT..." that could mean they only did something that looks wrong because you did something worse that caused it.
If someone says they are sorry and feel ashamed they did something, they still might only mean they are embarrassed they got caught, not that they feel at all bad about having injured you.
Each of these might be used for a decent apology. I don't want to fuss about someone sincerely being sorry but not getting the words quite right. Yet these are often evasions.
Inexcusable and unforgivable are not the same things. An evasive apology does not only not excuse wrong behavior, it is an additional injury in and of itself. Not all behavior is excusable. Yet all call be forgiven and we are in fact commanded to. One of the main ways we go wrong is in wasting energy trying to find excuses and convincing ourselves they apply to "those who trespass against us."
Scripture tells us that the quickest and most reliable way to get to forgiveness is to recall what we have been forgiven for ourselves.
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