Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Jason Collins: "I'm A Basketball Player"

Seven-footer Jason Collins announced today what many have suspected for decades: he's a basketball player.

Younger players were shocked, seeing Collins as "just some guy who liked to hang around NBA guys and wear uniforms," as one anonymous fourth-year player thought.  But older players were less surprised, remembering a time ten years ago when the debate over whether Collins was an actual NBA player or not was more common.

"I had some friends who were on the Nets in the early 2000's who were 75-80% sure he was a basketball player then," nodded a now-retired member of the Atlanta Hawks.  "I didn't notice anything myself when he was here, but those were guys who were in a position to know.  They used to tell me that despite appearances, Jason would do stuff from time-to-time that only someone who was a basketball player would do."  Video footage from the era is inconclusive.


Anonymous said...

Very clever.

Unknown said...

Collins has made a Faustian bargain. He has gained himself an automatic Hall of Fame slot, and will make millions on the lecture/book circuit.

The cost? Nobody will ever care about the thing he has spent his life trying to master. Nobody cares about his skill or success on the court. All that matters is where he puts his dick.

Sam L. said...

Is there any reason I should know about this guy, or care? I think not.