tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19305198.post2265599308378461919..comments2024-03-27T03:19:11.216-04:00Comments on Assistant Village Idiot: Homeschooler's HS GraduationAssistant Village Idiothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01978011985085795099noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19305198.post-91181557853361151772012-05-21T20:32:13.452-04:002012-05-21T20:32:13.452-04:00Yes, yes -- exactly. Your latest comment brought t...Yes, yes -- exactly. Your latest comment brought to mind several faces (for such problems are bound to the people who embody them, inevitably) who ended up in just such a situation in my church. One went very far, having been "affirmed" and "encouraged" to the point of seeking ordination, when this clearly was not a valid calling. The resulting fallout was ugly and deeply harmful.<br /><br />For evangelicals, especially American ones, staying positive seems to be the default setting. I've also found it interesting to see how this general upbeat attitude is reflected in language used, intonations, even gestures and other body language, among evangelicals from across the globe (my church has members from five continents at the moment; no South Americans that I know of). <br /><br />It's therefore crucial that the church ministers and lay leaders have that discernment and backbone when situations run off the rails. But I agree, it is hard -- and risky -- to pour the cold water, and the temptation is always to err on the side of "generosity". <br /><br />Thanks again for your astute comments and reply.Mr Tallnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19305198.post-10258507317613823092012-05-21T17:57:24.351-04:002012-05-21T17:57:24.351-04:00Thank you, sir.
I don't envy you that positio...Thank you, sir.<br /><br />I don't envy you that position. I find that people misunderstand easily even when one is paying compliments, and even mild criticism is misheard. Some people are so thick-skinned (or thick-headed) that they don't get it even when you are being blunt. Others hear criticism in the mildest change in tone.<br /><br />Here's my worry: I don't believe such things are always just armless foibles. Sometimes they are, but other times they are early-warning signals of people who are going to be difficult in some crisis. There are social conventions which should suggest to them that not every situation is appropriate for their particular hobby-horses - their ability to ignore may be only clumsiness, but may also hint at some deeper arrogance and entitlement. Letting it go becomes an issue later, when a congregation realises they have let a problem grow for five years, and the offending person has every right to be surprised at sudden criticism, as no one mentioned it before.<br /><br />I wish I had the discernment which is which.Assistant Village Idiothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01978011985085795099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19305198.post-24747703281535976922012-05-20T20:52:38.642-04:002012-05-20T20:52:38.642-04:00Superb post, AVI.
I'm a lay leader in my chur...Superb post, AVI.<br /><br />I'm a lay leader in my church, and have noticed this phenomenon on many, many occasions. A recent example was one of the reports at my church's annual meeting: the reporter spent a good 20 minutes riffing on the very first item in his report, turning it into a homily comprising his views on church community, giving, Christian love, and on and on and on. But he is good at his work in the church, so pure latitude is given. Who will ask him, in front of the Body, to get to the point? There is really no avenue for sanction in such situations. Are you going to leap from your vehicle and tell the mommies to tuck away the apron strings and get moving when they lovingly drop off their lovely kids who are loved?<br /><br />My church's situation is complicated because it is very multicultural, with lots of new Christians. I find myself, a veteran of decades of church leadership, really really really wanting to get on with things and get them done, but fearing that I will offend, either culturally or as a stumbling block. It's quite stressful at times.Mr Tallnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19305198.post-46979386528730643752012-05-20T10:50:27.385-04:002012-05-20T10:50:27.385-04:00It's not just the Evangelicals. The non-evan...It's not just the Evangelicals. The non-evangelicals (Episcopalian to boot!) are pretty grim about this 'in the moment' thing.<br /><br />It strikes me as part and parcel of several things: the feminization of Western culture - let's have an official hug and show of mommy's tenderness - and the general virtual/real dichotomy that taxes a lot of social situations. What I mean by the latter is that so many people socially interact in a virtual way nowadays that silly little constructs that years ago would be assigned to a back pages of a middle school or high school annual book are now highlighted in social networking, promoted at a PTA or parent's conference, and officially put in place by school administrators who are as socially inept as they are pedagogically impaired. For instance, we had a mother several years ago, find out on Facebook about a group of kids in some distant State who had made a pact not to drink alcohol until they finished high school. They had publicly signed some piece of paper stating their teetototaling (whoopee!). She then took it to our diocese and promoted it to our schools under the guise of children's safety, promoting character, etc., etc. Being a Whiskeypalian, this didn't sit well with me since I our Lord never carded anyone at the Marriage of Cana where he was the head 'sommelier'! But beyond the fermentation issue, was the pure silliness of the whole show. Kids who liked to throw back a couple of six packs on the weekend meekly filed into the library hall and signed some piece of paper to please mommy dearest. My boys weren't even allowed to attend the spectacle!<br /><br />There's less and less parent/child distinction anymore. Parents are subsumed into their children's lives in almost every aspect: sports, scholastics, outings, etc. The result is an extremely shallow, emotionally timid, and awkward population.W Bakernoreply@blogger.com