tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19305198.post1875580804157067789..comments2024-03-27T03:19:11.216-04:00Comments on Assistant Village Idiot: To Banish EvilAssistant Village Idiothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01978011985085795099noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19305198.post-57906792009559625352011-05-06T23:46:24.681-04:002011-05-06T23:46:24.681-04:00Maybe it's just a problem of the definition of...Maybe it's just a problem of the definition of "empathy" that worries me. <br /><br />Feeling someone's pain, understanding someone's pain or plight does very little... probably nothing in relieving that pain. <br /><br />I do not think empathy is part of righting injustices. Feeling bad about something doesn't change anything does it? <br /><br />Actions are what counts. <br /><br />As a perhaps trivial example, I went out on a limb once and encouraged a 13 year old to try out for something that her parents may or may not have wanted. <br /><br />They were not there. I was. I felt her pain when she was not chosen for the role her parents had pushed her to try for. <br /><br />(That was an awful day. I was the "stay at home" parent who transported 3 aspiring ballerinas to try out for the role of Clara in the Nutcracker. I had prepared my daughter (not really necessary since she knew she was not a contender) but I had failed to understand how much the other two wanted the role and how much parental pressure there was on them to get it. <br /><br />I could have "felt" their pain all day and done nothing to alleviate it. Fortunately, I had as a template the plan for my daughter -- try out to be a senior -- mature -- dancer rather than try for the top role of the immature dancers. <br /><br />I was a close friend of the parents of one of the girls and had discussed the possibility of "failure" with them. I knew what they wanted me to do. <br /><br />The other girl's parents were strangers to me other than the fact that I'd seen them push their daughter to excel. I was very worried that they would be angry at me for deciding their daughter should try out for the senior company. <br /><br />Of the three girls, their daughter was the most talented. My daughter was the least. Oh how I hate admitting that! <br /><br />Her parents never said anything to me about my decision. The only feedback I got was that I was still acceptable as transportation. <br /><br />Yes it was empathy that I felt for her, but if I'd only felt and not acted (go, try out for something else) would I have not had a negative impact rather than positive?<br /><br />Either way, I was empathic.Donna B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16771075314473811594noreply@blogger.com